Friday, April 9, 2010

I just want to die...

So I've been REALLY emotional already....

In my last pregnancy I recall crying over things like the fact that it was Sunday and Chik Fil A wasn't open! Buuuuuut I was a much further along.

Now I'm already crying as movies that aren't sad! The other day I watched 'Cheaper By the Dozen 2' and "boo-hooed". What's up with that? Crazy hormones!

It doesn't help that I'm also steadily losing my battle with the queasy monster. I seriously think it's getting WORSE. And sometimes..... when I'm tryin to get up the stairs to the bathroom to throw up .......and the princess is climbing on me and pulling my hair ........and I'm looking around at my house which looks like a tornado came through... I just think 'I want to die'. LOL

Of course I don't really want to die. Sometimes it just all seems too much. For those of you who don't know, my husband and I sacrificed our big house and our daily time with each other to live in a tiny townhouse and be part of a church plant! He now works 4 hours away through the week and is only home on weekends..... so yes, sometimes it's just tough.

While I don't regret this decision, I would be lying if I said I didn't miss our movie nights with cheap Little Caesar's pizza, or just being able to cook dinner for all of us, or having him here to help with the monster and hold my hair back while I puke!

For now I guess I'll just keep truckin' and taking care of a baby, myself, the bills, the house, appointments....

It does get tough sometimes... but in the long run I know I am so blessed!