Thursday, June 24, 2010

Oh *Boy*....

So0o my best friend went to have her gender ultrasound done today.... they're 90% sure it's a GIRL! I told her that it totally figured she would get my girl and I would get her boy...

The simple fact is that I'm just now getting use to the idea of having a boy. I have been terrified. I didn't have any brothers!! Good thing, too, considering my sister always walked around naked....

On top of that this is like raising children of the opposite sex which neither Cory nor I have any experience in.... he only had a brother and I only had a sister!

Is there some kind of weird rule book out there about how to raise brothers and sisters?!

The truth is that my entire life I never actually imagined raising a son!

When I was in third grade I can specifically remember the mother of one of the boys in my class. She always came on field trips and to parties. I can remember sitting and staring at her and thinking "Do you know how HORRIBLE your son is?! I NEVER want to have a son. I HATE boys."

In third grade they were annoying, in sixth grade they called me names, and by eighth grade they were breaking my heart! On top of all of this I've never personally known the mother of a teenage boy who seemed to have any sense whatsoever!!!! Yeah, yeah, I know they're out there.... but I don't know them! Oh my gosh, I need to focus more on what I'm gonna do when I get peed on and less on the teenage years- I cannot handle that yet.

Boys are my sister's thing... she has boys... she knows how that goes.... but ME?! I've been packing up outfits and tiny hairbows in mourning over the loss of the fact I won't be using them any time soon!

Aren't I just a horrible mother?! But hey, at least I'm admitting it. Don't get me wrong. I love the pea. I'm exciting about a lot of things and I'm glad I'm having a son... for my husbands sake. I really wanted this for him....

But oh my gosh, WHAT IF THE NEXT ONE IS A BOY, TOO?!

Monday, June 21, 2010

I have a penis...

....Inside of me!!!!!
The Pea is most definitely a BOY!
On Friday, Hubby was able to come home. I made oreo bon bons with blue food coloring (that dye your mouth blue) and sprinkles. I also put pea's onesies and tiny blue shoes that me and my friend Hannah bought him in a baby bag with pink tissue paper to make him think it was a girl! He was really happy.... Here are some pictures!

And here are some pictures of the Pea!!... Precious little foot!!
I limited pictures so I could add this..... Hubby's reaction to the news!! :)

Thursday, June 17, 2010

I'm pregnant, OKAY?!

...that seems to be my excuse for everything these days.

Let me just tell you, I. AM. MEAN. I have always been somewhat of a push-over. I've always let people say or do things that upset me and let it roll off my shoulder. Not anymore! I am one pregnant woman you do NOT want to mess with. I swear I just cannot control it. My waitress yesterday, looking at the display picture on my phone (without being invited might I add) asked me why I would use such a picture, and not a happy one. "She's smiling". She ignored me. "She's actually SMILING, thank you. She has a very big SMILE," I said, almost shouting over her babbling.

And how about that Kroger cashier who stuck her hand in my face? Oh, that wasn't pretty my friends. Please don't explain to me how to use WIC when the way you are doing it is illegal. That ended in a conversation with her manager.

And let's not forget about all the parking lot fights I've been in lately. Don't waste your time to stop and yell at me over anything- regardless of if it was my fault because I am liable to track down your car and key it while you're inside. .....okay, I haven't done that, but I have considered it!

And last but not least there was that horrendous fight with my mother in law that I promised I would blog about.... buuut I just still don't feel like I can talk about it. I don't even like thinking about it.... and out of all the incredibly justifiable times I've had to blow up on her (like when she came to my house 2 weeks after I had a baby- trashing it, starting fights, and claiming I had my child on her birthday on purpose to take focus off of her) I wound up not being able to take another word after she tried to give me parenting advice. She, who beat, abused, and neglected my husband for years walking out of the room in protest of the way we've chosen to raise our child?!.... I don't think so.

I'm sure the rest is yet to come. I bet I get even more rude, angry, and obnoxious.

On a side note, as most of you know, we found out the gender of the baby yesterday! (And by we I mean me, Adleigh, and my friend Hannah!) Cory was unable to go, and I am refusing to tell him until I can SEE the reaction on his face. Hopefully this will be Saturday, but he may force me to tell him before then. After he knows, I'll be sure to let you guys know! Until then.... :)

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Fingerprints, Sonograms, & Swim Class...

Today I am 14 weeks pregnant! =)

This week baby has developed fingerprints... I found an article that I just thought was amazing so I decided to share-

Your baby now has fingerprints! Book 'em Danno! Believe it or not, he actually created them himself while swimming around in the amniotic fluid. As he moved his hands, the skin on the tips of his fingers formed unique ridges and folds. That's why no one in the world has the same fingerprints, not even identical twins!

Isn't that just AMAZING? Well, I thought so anyway...

So I'm pretty undecided about whether I am going to have my gender ultrasound when it is scheduled at 16 weeks. I'm nervous they won't be able to tell, and I'm even more nervous that they won't get good enough measurements of all the organs. All this has me thinking, why on earth don't I have a friend who's a sonogram tech? Someone find me one of those!

And of course we have our third Water Babies class on Friday... something that has been so fun and yet has made me realize that I am the mother of 'the bad kid'. No joke... Princess is the only one screaming for no reason... trying to run away from me... pitching fits when she doesn't get her way.... oh and NOT swimming! I get stared at- a lot. Of course at that point I'm wondering where my "Just you wait!" t-shirt is for all the mothers of 6 month olds...

Well, sounds like the monster is awake now so we're headed to the park with our freshly painted, matching pink toe nails... (Today was her first pedicure!)

Thursday, May 13, 2010

All over the place...

It's been FOREVER since I've blogged. I've just had SO much going on...

so where should I start? With Princess's birthday disas.... ugh, party!? :)

or my impromptu trip home to Alabama?!

or maybe with my doctors appointment?!

Well in my defense I started planning that birthday party months in advance... but then I got pregnant and everything got a little shifted. I now see all the value in the world in having a party at an all inclusive place like Chuck E Cheese!

And I went home to Alabama just because I wanted to... I missed my grandparents SO much and I know they were missing the princess! So much to the dismay of my husband, I just got in my car and drove.... with an expired license plate and all the while telling absolutely no one of my plans so that they (ahem, my sister) could not make unwanted plans for me. It was perfect because everyone had to come visit ME and I got to stay in just one place. Normally going home is such a disaster because we try to fit in seeing people who live a hundred miles away from each other. We're currently planning a trip for next weekend to go to my brother in law's graduation.... I'll let you know how that goes.

Something else that happened was the official launch date of the church we just planted here in this beautiful city ....just a soft launch though! We don't have a building yet so we haven't been getting the word out and planning a big shindig just yet!

So0o0o today I had a doctor's appointment. I was 13 weeks yesterday and I was pretty nervous because I had been having a HORRIFIC pain my side for over 24 hours. This morning the pain was magically gone and now my side only hurts if someone presses into it.... orrr punches me in the side (I know this because I am the mother of a one year old). ANYWHO... the nurse practicioner that I see every other visit (her name is Glenda, and I LOVE her) scheduled me for a gender ultrasound in THREE weeks. So now I'm totally terrified that pea will not open up those legs as early as 16 weeks!!! And I'm having to pay for this ultrasound.... I sure can't pay for two. So don't be surprised in three weeks when I'm telling you all to pray for pea to spread 'em wide! ...It'll be the only time I ask, promise! :)

Princess has her second swim class in the morning... which is just ridiculously fun! I'll definitely keep you updated on her mad swim skills!

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Princess is 1 and Pea is... well, who knows anymore?

I thought today would be sadder than it was....

Instead I was just overwhelmed with thanks for my princess and turned around and gave all the glory to God for the little life she's lead so far. When I say I couldn't be more thankful, I'm not kidding! I love her more than life itself.... but I'm sure none of you know anything about that. ;)

But let me tell you about our trip to look for a birthday present. The princess's latest fascination is baby dolls, so I decided to go to the store and look for a newer and nice baby for her birthday. Apparently being one means that she is old enough to actually realize that she is in an aisle... full of toys... that are meant for her. She screamed, and she pitched a fit, and she pointed at things begging for them. Woah, woah, woah..... when did you turn into a TODDLER, missy?? Needless to say we looked over the selection of what seemed to be about 80% dolls of African American descent and left..... because I've finally reached the point where my child is the one having a temper tantrum in the toy aisle. ::sigh::

Anywho, I had another appointment today to see if all the complications from last time had resolved. I've had no further spotting and the ultrasound showed that blood had resolved... it also showed my precious pea squirming around in there!!

Isn't he/she CUTE?! haha The tech felt it necessary to explain to me that was just the cord and not a boy part.... yeah, lady, I think I coulda figured that out. Anywho, the babe had a whopping heartbeat of 179!!! Adleigh's stayed in the 140's so this was new to me. If the old wive's tale is true, then it's another girl.... but heart rate has been proven to have no relation to what the baby's sex is so we'll see in another 8-12 weeks! Did I mention they also got a different measurement today?! ....only by a day meaning the pea measured at 9 weeks 1 day and giving me a due date of November 16th, but the doc told me to always keep the due date of the original ultrasound so the 17th it is! :) My wonderful doctor also finally gave me a prescription for phenergan which might be the best drug ever invented! I just wish I could take it more, but I'm a little weary of making pea drowsy too! Well, we're off to have a birthday dinner of mac & cheese! yum!

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Happy Birthday Princess!

I'm having a really hard time right now.

As of April 14th, at 12:00 am EST my princess is one year old.

I've been planning this party for two months. I've been thinking about every little detail for a year! But that didn't change the fact that after I became pregnant her birthday plans got pushed to the back of my mind. SO I've been spending this week in a hot mess trying to figure things out. But give me a break! This is my first time planning one of these things!

On top of it all I just absolutely cannot believe it has been a year since she came into the world. Technically I've already spent 21 months with the love of my life, but it has just flown by. I'm so not ready for her to grow up. Maybe I'm just overly emotional.

My entire life I dreamed about having children. It was seriously my biggest dream in life. Now I'm about to have my second! I just still can't even believe she's here. I couldn't be more thankful for the precious gift of God that she is and how she brightens my days and puts interest in my life.

Me - her = nothing.

She is my everything. Without her I wouldn't have the slightest taste of the amazing love that God has for us- and what an unbelievable God he is- to allow me to fulfill my biggest dreams by being a mother when I did not deserve it. His grace is unbelievable and I could never repay Him.

This day has seemed so far away for so long and yet I know one day I'll be writing some letter or blog about her getting married and having kids of her own. Please God, let that come later rather than sooner.

I can't handle this. :'(

Friday, April 9, 2010

I just want to die...

So I've been REALLY emotional already....

In my last pregnancy I recall crying over things like the fact that it was Sunday and Chik Fil A wasn't open! Buuuuuut I was a much further along.

Now I'm already crying as movies that aren't sad! The other day I watched 'Cheaper By the Dozen 2' and "boo-hooed". What's up with that? Crazy hormones!

It doesn't help that I'm also steadily losing my battle with the queasy monster. I seriously think it's getting WORSE. And sometimes..... when I'm tryin to get up the stairs to the bathroom to throw up .......and the princess is climbing on me and pulling my hair ........and I'm looking around at my house which looks like a tornado came through... I just think 'I want to die'. LOL

Of course I don't really want to die. Sometimes it just all seems too much. For those of you who don't know, my husband and I sacrificed our big house and our daily time with each other to live in a tiny townhouse and be part of a church plant! He now works 4 hours away through the week and is only home on weekends..... so yes, sometimes it's just tough.

While I don't regret this decision, I would be lying if I said I didn't miss our movie nights with cheap Little Caesar's pizza, or just being able to cook dinner for all of us, or having him here to help with the monster and hold my hair back while I puke!

For now I guess I'll just keep truckin' and taking care of a baby, myself, the bills, the house, appointments....

It does get tough sometimes... but in the long run I know I am so blessed!


Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Just wait...

Okay so I know it has been a while since I've posted. I've been busy doing.... um... not much of anything.

Really though I've been stressing over appointments and bills and re-certification nonsense. I've had a husband here and some wonderful friends came to visit me so I've had a full plate for a while.

Today the princess and I had WIC appointments. After getting LOST going to a health department I've been to twice already, I came in late to find that their air was broken and it was literally 90 Degrees today. After getting some forms filled out and sitting my sweaty, t-shirt, jeans, and flip flop wearing, dirty pony tail styling, half-painted toe nails, falling apart diaper bag carrying self down..... I spotted Miss "This is My Very First WIC Appointment". I can spot this girl from a mile away. She has washed and styled her hair. Her makeup is perfectly done. She's wearing a dress and some stylish sandals. Her newly-embroidered diaper bag doesn't have a spot on or thread hanging from it. Her brand new baby is perfectly dressed in a nice, clean car seat. I was this girl.... a year ago.

We had some casual conversation. Noticing my dirty, falling apart, but still embroidered diaper bag she asked me to how to pronounce my daughters name. "That's interesting" she said. If she was trying to be nice I couldn't tell. She seemed rude, but I gave her the benefit of the doubt. After all, in a year she'll be me. I hope I see her then..... :)

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

So here it is...

Sorry for the delay... I've been taking one of the most wonderful naps of my life.

Earlier today we spent three hours at my first doctor's appointment. I waited forever to do the ultrasound first, nervous out my mind, with my complaining husband and fussy little princess in the waiting room. Finally, we got in.... and there he/she was- my pea!

I was excited, but not nearly ready to feel okay. The heart rate was a good, steady 136! And then she started asking questions. How normal are my periods and how sure am I about my last period date? Apparently my pea is measuring 10 days behind his/her expected schedule making it only 6 weeks 6 days and giving me a due date of November 17th. The woman reassured me with the fact that the heart rate was good.

I returned to the waiting room where I waited to have vitals checked. Then I went BACK to waiting room to wait for my room. Everyone at this hospital is incredibly kind. I am amazed that I ever dealt with all that I did at the OB office I went with the princess. I couldn't be more impressed. I saw the nurse practitioner who explained to me that she thought the blood was coming BEHIND my sac and shouldn't be cause for concern. I had a physical exam and then blood work. It was exhausting.

My levels were checked and will be checked again in two weeks when I go back for another ultrasound to measure the baby again and see if the problem of the blood has resolved itself. The appointment is on the princess's birthday. I've been put on 'pelvic rest' which is a fancy way of saying 'no sex!' but not on bed rest, thank God. So now I wait again.

My pea has a healthy beating heart and I am so thankful. Now I just hope that in two weeks my levels have doubled and my pea has grown! Please hope with me. Love you all.... and here's my pea! :)

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Worst Weekend Ever...

There's no humorous way to start this blog. Nothing about this past weekend has been good. Last week I finally mailed my pregnancy announcements. Apparently, my father received his first. I wasn't even considering the fact that it was the day the announcements should've arrived when he called me and asked "Y'all ain't figured out WTH causes that s**t yet?"
"Getting Pregnant!"
Of course he was joking... but his lack of etiquette certainly took me by surprise. It was only a few hours later that he decided to post on his facebook status that he had found out he would be a grandfather for the fourth time.... all of this before any of the rest of my family had seen their announcements.

Now you must understand that, sadly, we never expect our families to be happy when they find our we're pregnant. They've yet to have a good reaction, and we don't see one in the near future. Our priorities are placed a little differently than what they (and most people) think they should be. This is quite stressful to us, but like I said, we expect it.

Anywho, since family members (and other friends) found out this way they weren't exactly happy. I've even been criticized for using the method I used to announce the pregnancy. They sound like a supportive bunch, huh? Apparently it would be much smarter (and less special in my opinion) to just email everyone. Yeah, that would go over really well with my grandmother who has never used a computer in her life.

So, late on this Friday night that everything went down and my stress level went UP about 80% I went to the bathroom only to look into the toilet and see quite a bit of old blood. It seemed that i had been spotting for quite a while and didn't notice it. I did some internet research and decided to let DH know, go to bed, and see if it had stopped in the morning.

No such luck.

The spotting seems to subside and restart over and over again. It has, however, seemed to decrease which is good. On Saturday my doctor's answering service offered no help, but to tell me I could go to the ER. Unfortunately, I was home alone, blocked in, with an 11 month old princess! The hubby was able to come home early and told me to rest. We decided not to go the ER since I haven't been in any pain.

There could be a number of reasons this is happening. Some are fine, and some are bad. The worst possibility is that I have had a delayed miscarriage. In this case the baby would have died quite a while ago without any notice. In this case, there's nothing that could be done anyway.

So we wait.

On Tuesday morning my precious pea may or may not have a heartbeat.... and then we will know. An ultrasound will also be done. I am praying for the best and being prepared for the worst... well, probably not prepared. I cannot be prepared. I guess I'm expecting the worst.... and if it's not the worst then I will be unbelievably relieved and happy. No words can express what it feels like to wait for days just to find out if your baby has a heartbeat. I ask for your prayers.

Pray for my family, me, and especially my pea.

Thursday, March 25, 2010

News Flash: I'm not wealthy...

It's been a while since I learned the in's and out's of the public health system. The princess and I have both taken part in the benefits of Medicaid and WIC. This offends some people for some reason... and honestly, I don't care. These services are offered to illegal aliens and personally, I think if my government is going to pay for some foreigner to have a baby, they can pay for mine, too. :)

Since we've moved SO many times I've had to go to NUMEROUS health departments. I've spent hours and hours on endless phone calls to 10 different organizations changing and transferring information. Sometimes I think it's all more trouble than it's worth... but then I remember the hundreds and hundreds of dollars in formula that I saved after the princess stopped breastfeeding.

Anywho, today our adventure was to one of the many health departments in town to apply for pregnancy medicaid. Being the seasoned mother that I am (baha!) I knew better than to just carry my child in. Nope, that would never do. In the first 10 minutes the princess would've been crying, climbing out of my lap, and wiggling her way on to the floor. It's a pretty good thing I had that stroller, too since we were there for TWO HOURS!!!!

I only have so many options to entertain an 11 month old.
2-Sippy Cup
4-ANYTHING I CAN FIND- keys, cell phone, wipe case, wallet, etc.

Too much of #2 led to a leaking diaper and a half naked baby.... in the one place you don't want people to think you're not taking care of your child.

I definitely know every health department does things differently. I especially know now that I spent so much time getting together and worrying about forms I had to have such as pay stubs, birth certificates, and social security cards- NONE of which they asked to see at this particular appointment. BUT at least 2 hours later I was approved!

Of course by that point the princess had realized 'Hey, I can wiggle out of my buckle and STAND UP in this stroller!, look, a week old fruit loop, yum!'

...Thank God that's over!

Upcoming Missions: WIC appointments. But of course hers and mine are at different departments, on different days, at different times. ::sigh::

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

The search for Preggie Pops...

So for those of you who don't know I have been hard core battling with my arch enemy (who also goes by the name morning sickness) for about a week now.... and I am losing horribly.

It lasts all. day. long. On some days it has been so horrible that I have been completely unable to go through my daily routine! Recently on a CafeMom forum (btw, I heart CafeMom) I asked for some suggestions about how to start winning my battle with the green, queasy monster. One of the suggestions I received was to buy something called Preggie Pops. I'm guessing most people have heard of them. I decided that I must find some to try.

So this morning I did everything I could to make myself get up and ready and out of the house. First off, I stopped by the post office. I had to finally mail the pregnancy announcements (complete with picture of the princess in a big sister shirt and due date) that I ordered...err.... a week ago? I could swear I was standing next to Ruby from the My Style tv show. Unfortunately, it was not the beloved overweight red head I had hoped. I was disappointed.

Second stop, food. Zaxby's actually. It wasn't until an hour later when I was driving down the road slurping my second glass of their ugh-mazing sweet tea when I thought "HOLY COW! HOW MUCH CAFFEINE HAVE I HAD?" I don't ever think about tea being caffeinated since I make mine decaf at home. Surely, since I never drink caffeine it wasn't too much.

So0o anywho, BabiesRUs was a BUST. No preggie pops anywhere! An hour later, after searching down every single flippin aisle, I left empty handed. I texted ChaCha (oh, I also lurve my ChaCha) for the number to Motherhood Maternity. Called them, they had them, YES! Took a quick trip to Walmart where I was able to buy a few low calorie snacks to keep me going all day and then headed to Motherhood.

Great, this should be easy enough. I can just pop in, grab them, and leave to get the princess down for her nap. I walk in and hear "Hi, Welcome to Motherhood Maternity. I'm _____. Have you shopped with us before? How can I help you today?" and in my head I realize 'Oh no. You are going to be a problem.'

"Yes, I've been here before. I actually just need to get some preggie pops. Thanks."

"Oh, let me show you. We have these organic kind. This package has more than this other package. Now do you have really bad morning sickness?"

"Yes. Thank you."

"Well, if you have it really bad you may need to tell your doctor. They can prescribe you something...." (By this point Im hearing BLAH BLAH BLAH!)

"Ah-hah, okay, thanks. I have an appointment next week."

"Alright, now how are you paints fitting?!"

Seriously, lady???.... like, SERIOUSLY? SHUT. UP. She kept talking... but theres no need in me filling you in. By the time I made it to the register with a cranky child still on my hip making my arm feel like it was about to fall off AND having to pee uncontrollably she was still talking.

"Are you sure you just want to get the one package?"
"I'd like to see if they work first, thanks."
"Oh, they definitely work. They're doctor approved!"
"That's great. I'm just buying the one package though now. THANK YOU."

So after having to give her all my information and another long conversation about if I needed anything else (you'd think the lady worked off commission) I finally got out of there.

Thankfully, the preggie pops seem to work miracles. I'm very very happy with them. I was even able to go on a walk tonight! Hopefully that helped burn off a few of those calories from the honey mustard dressing on my Zaxby's salad. :)

Unfortunately, this means I will have to return for more eventually.

Good Lord, I hope that lady isn't there.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Oh... who am I?

So this is my first blog.

Yes, I realize it's far from it's full potential.... but come on, people, I'm working with what I've got right now. Unfortunately, until my desktop gets fixed, my graphics will have to suffer. I decided I didn't find that a good enough reason anymore to not go ahead and start blogging!

So, here I am.

Oh, who am I?

Well, I'm a mom. No, I was never a business woman who gave up some amazing career to stay at home with my kids. (More power to those ladies!) Raising a house full of children is all I've ever wanted to do... and I'm well on my way. I'm one of those 'horrible' statistics that got married (almost) right out of high school and got pregnant within my first 6 months of marriage!

I am a mommy to a beautiful, amazing princess who will be one year old in April and I am pregnant with a perfect little pea who is due in November!

A few things you may want to know before you start reading.... I do intend on being a "bold blogger". My marriage isn't perfect and I do not always deserve the Mom of the Year award! I have certain views I'm pretty stubborn about, but my true intentions for this blog are for myself. I want to document my time through this pregnancy and hopefully meet some really cool people along the way.