Worst Weekend Ever...

There's no humorous way to start this blog. Nothing about this past weekend has been good. Last week I finally mailed my pregnancy announcements. Apparently, my father received his first. I wasn't even considering the fact that it was the day the announcements should've arrived when he called me and asked "Y'all ain't figured out WTH causes that s**t yet?"
"Huh?"
"Getting Pregnant!"
Of course he was joking... but his lack of etiquette certainly took me by surprise. It was only a few hours later that he decided to post on his facebook status that he had found out he would be a grandfather for the fourth time.... all of this before any of the rest of my family had seen their announcements.

Now you must understand that, sadly, we never expect our families to be happy when they find our we're pregnant. They've yet to have a good reaction, and we don't see one in the near future. Our priorities are placed a little differently than what they (and most people) think they should be. This is quite stressful to us, but like I said, we expect it.

Anywho, since family members (and other friends) found out this way they weren't exactly happy. I've even been criticized for using the method I used to announce the pregnancy. They sound like a supportive bunch, huh? Apparently it would be much smarter (and less special in my opinion) to just email everyone. Yeah, that would go over really well with my grandmother who has never used a computer in her life.

So, late on this Friday night that everything went down and my stress level went UP about 80% I went to the bathroom only to look into the toilet and see quite a bit of old blood. It seemed that i had been spotting for quite a while and didn't notice it. I did some internet research and decided to let DH know, go to bed, and see if it had stopped in the morning.

No such luck.

The spotting seems to subside and restart over and over again. It has, however, seemed to decrease which is good. On Saturday my doctor's answering service offered no help, but to tell me I could go to the ER. Unfortunately, I was home alone, blocked in, with an 11 month old princess! The hubby was able to come home early and told me to rest. We decided not to go the ER since I haven't been in any pain.

There could be a number of reasons this is happening. Some are fine, and some are bad. The worst possibility is that I have had a delayed miscarriage. In this case the baby would have died quite a while ago without any notice. In this case, there's nothing that could be done anyway.

So we wait.

On Tuesday morning my precious pea may or may not have a heartbeat.... and then we will know. An ultrasound will also be done. I am praying for the best and being prepared for the worst... well, probably not prepared. I cannot be prepared. I guess I'm expecting the worst.... and if it's not the worst then I will be unbelievably relieved and happy. No words can express what it feels like to wait for days just to find out if your baby has a heartbeat. I ask for your prayers.

Pray for my family, me, and especially my pea.